In this moment, I firmly believe that Jesus is handing His heart to the church. He trusts us more than ever, because He sees a generation that is only wanting Him— a generation that will risk everything to see Him redeem everything that was destroyed. We truly are a people after His own heart, and it is a beautiful thing.

The hunger, the thirst, the eagerness to serve Him is one of a kind— a special heartbeat in the midst of many other rhythms. I think He smiles at us so often, thinking “Oh, how I love my children. They want to do so much with me! Let it be done!”

While we cry out to see change in this world, it’s important to remember He also just wants us. He gives us His heart because it’s His most prized possession. He wants us to receive it fully, to let it interlock with our own, and to bring flesh to the decay in our own. Practically, I don’t even know what this looks like outside of spending time with Him. There is something so exhilarating about Him coming over your spirit and cleansing the deepest parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. In this place, He unlocks everything.

Recently, Jesus asked me, “Emily, if you could have anything in this world, what would it be?”

I knew this was a sweet tug from Him to reconnect with the deepest desire in my heart. Before this conversation, I had been really worn down, weary of ministry, and even felt a wave of oppression trying to crush every passion I have for Him. It was intense, it was dark, and it was a familiar spirit that tormented my mind for so much of my past in slavery. The enemy tried to make me think I was returning to ownership and that was my portion. Ha!

He tried to make me forget that the Lord parted the seas for me to have freedom! He tired to make me forget that the Lord set me apart even before the world was formed. He tried to make me give up on any thought of having a beautiful and lively future.

I knew exactly what I wanted.

“I just want you, Jesus.”

That’s when He gave me His heart. The tears were cascading like waterfalls. I was completely vulnerable, trembling in His love, trembling in His kindness, trembling because I had not recognized this continual sweet pull towards Him over and over again. I kneeled there and wept. And it was good.

He began to show me where He has been this season, and where He was in all of the dull and dark moments that I thought were sent against me. He was weeping right next to me. I saw it so clear. He was not angry. He was not distant. He was not disappointed. He was weeping.

Most may not know or ever truly understand, but expressing genuine emotion is naturally difficult for me. I feel everything, but I don’t allow myself to let it touch my heart. Those walls were built as a defense mechanism built up from years and years of self preservation. I wanted so desperately to feel the genuine emotion of the Lord, and He did it when He gave me His heart. It didn’t happen after a certain amount of prayer, after a special worship service, or even after tasting Him in scripture. It was a simple yes in my heart to only want Him more than anything else in the world and to just receive His heart.

We are given opportunities to receive His heart everyday. We are given opportunities to choose God’s love every moment. We are given the ability to love our life and to love ourselves.

It is always a choice. It is always an option.

If you are having a hard time choosing, remember He sees right through you. He sees every impure thought, every deceitful motivation, and every desire that doesn’t reflect His heart. He sees it all, but He chose to look upon you in love, understanding, and compassion instead. His eyes are not harsh, His heart is not hard. His eyes are soft, wet with tears, and His heart is full of flesh.

When you were digging in the dirt, when you were confused, when you were fearful, Jesus wept with you.

Now, He is giving you His heart. Just receive it.

Author | Emily Helton